My father-n-law has dementia, and my MIL has worn herself out caring for him. I have a ton of questions!?

it doesn't get better only worse and that's sad i know. safety around your son has to be done. however, it still is their home. there may be a time you just have to say sorry we can't come. this is an issue for your husband and his family to decide what to do. you can look up agencies that may be able to help you. but like i said, it's your husbands family and they need to do this and your husband step up to the plate. i only say this because you are not legally able to make decisions for the family. your husband could force medical treatment if they see that his father is a harm to himself and others. this conversation should be taking place with him not the in-laws